# The Art Of Parenting

TOPICS :   Parenting
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Manoj A M
Nov 1 , 2018 21 min read 631 Views Likes 13 Comments
# The Art Of Parenting

Parenting is a challenging task of upbringing our child/children. It is challenging as well as interesting and it is a continuous process. Though I am not an expert to speak about this subject, being a cartoonist, I love children and I really like to interact with them. I would like to share my thoughts as a father of two kids and what I observed from the society as a cartoonist. In my opinion, a child is like a clay, you can mould this clay to anything you like, but mould carefully otherwise it will not give the desired result. In other words, a child is like a computer with a clean and clear hard disk, and its output will depend on your inputs. 

Nowadays most of the parents are pampering the kids too much that kids are losing their individual identity and they are not independent enough to do the daily activities. I had a neighbour, whose daughter was studying engineering, and every day her mother will guard her to the bus stop and help her to cross the road. One day when the mother was ill, she could not cross the road and met with an accident. This is just ridiculous and pathetic. You must show your love to the children, but not to the level that they are always dependent on you. Nowadays, a few grandparents (who were once like Hitlers to their kids, now turned into guardians of peace), are playing an important role to pamper the kids. They are treating their grandchildren as if they are the only one on earth.  They will not allow them to play outside in the sun, they will not allow them to bite dust,  they do do not bear them crying, they will not allow them make friendship with other kids.  They have the false imagination that a child in a closed AC room is the best place in the world.  I am not telling that all the grandparents are like this, but few are.  I am from a joint family and the art of sharing, cooperation, tolerance, love, and care which I got from my joint family is missing in this generation of nuclear family.  When you are giving over-protection or over-care and if you fulfill all the needs of your children, they will not be familiar with the word "no" in their life and when they have grown up, ironically they will lose the ability to face difficult situations in their life.  The best thing possible is let them fly like a kite, but the controlling string must be in your hands.

I would like to share GOLDEN RULES in parenting that you can try and follow.

1.  Never compare your child with others. Every child is unique, each one has talent, but you should try to explore the talent.

2.  Children will demand things, if you start to meet all the demands, it will grow day by day, and it would be difficult for you to control your kids, especially in public spaces. Listen carefully to their demands, and if you cannot meet them do not afraid to say "NO" to the kids.

3.  If you want to play with your child, be a child. It is not fair to ask them to play while you are watching TV or playing on the mobile. So be positive, play with your children and of course, they will enjoy it, I am sure. It is no matter how old you are.

4.  If you know your child like something, the best way to give to her/him should be as a token of appreciation. If your child learns a new skill or achieves something for eg:-toileting, won a prize in sports or arts etc., if you give them their favourite gift it will be a great encouragement for them.

5.  It is not important to gift your child costly things because they value the things, not the price. For eg; Poppins worth Rs. 2 and a chocolate worth 200, the value of joy or pleasure will be the same.

6.  It is better to tell your children what we are and what we can afford because taking a bank loan for meeting your kids' demand does not sound good.

7.  Try to teach good manners to your kids because this is the only thing which matters when they are growing. They have to live in a society where the values are most important.

8.  It is a better gift your child storybooks, rather than toys or video games as they step into the world of letters. Books are always the best companion for kids.

9.  Try to add more value to kids, like how to behave properly with the elders, how to cooperate, how to share things etc. It will definitely help them in the future.

10.  Try to teach them to help others, because if you help somebody, you will get help from somebody in the future.

11.  Do not shout at your children when they commit mistakes, but friendly advise them not to commit the same mistakes again. Let them learn from their mistakes.

12.  Children do not like to hear "Don't do this, don't do that" instead of shift their focus on other things which are more interesting to them.

13.  Add wings to children's dreams. Try to know what they like the most and try to support them with that hobby. If a child likes to draw, just give him/her more things on the same subject to explore like books to help in a drawing, colours, pencils, and others to draw, finding a class for drawing, etc.

14.  Do not try to feed what they like, but try to accommodate your children with your eating habits. If a child likes only bread and jam, don't try to feed him/her with bread and jam rather with friendly talks encourage them to join our eating habits. Taking breakfast, lunch, and dinner together will help them to eat better and learn table manners.

15.  Do not stop them from asking questions, rather help them to find the answers. Because children are curious to learn new things, if you stop them they will lose the positive attitude.

16.  Let them learn from Nature. Nature is the best school you can get. Please try to get in touch with nature to your kids as much as possible. They will love to play in a playground or park rather than in a closed room.

17.  Try to teach the art of cleanliness because health really matters as air pollution and other pollutions are increasing day by day.

18.  Even if the children commit a mistake, compel them, to tell the truth, because once they started to tell the lie in the fear of punishment, it will definitely spoil their character.

19.  The word "Apology" means a lot. Even if you are doing a mistake do not be afraid tell your children sorry, because 90% things children are learning from their parents, so if you are true to yourself, it will better reflect on your child.

20.  Try to read stories or tell stories for the young ones, that will help to build imagination. Those who are already learned to read, it is a good habit to learn stories before you go to bed. 

21.  Please teach the value of education, getting full marks on every subject will not alone make somebody successful in life. It is about how you put into practice in your life what you have learned will make you successful. 

22.  Try to teach them winning and losing are part of the game.

23.  Try to give them responsibilities as they grow up. There are kids who will not help their parents even after the teenage years. Parents having a thought that they will do everything without troubling their children, it is not the right way to do things. You must share your responsibilities to your child as they are growing up.

24. Parenting is a continuous process, you should cop up with that. It is not possible to hand over your responsibilities to others.

25.  The most important thing is to spend time with your children, listen to them, try to understand them and their feelings, and support them when they needed the most.

Thanks for reading, happy Parenting!

Manoj A.M.


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