There is always a Flip Side.....
Golden words “Life is Beautiful, Live it to fullest”. Journey of life teaches us many life lessons. If you are lucky enough, few relationships will touch your heart. But few may tear you apart. After separation, I wanted to bring life back to normal, wanted to chill, hang out more with friends, so that I can fill that vacant space and isolation in my life. I wanted everyone, my parents, my family, relatives to be by my side, meet them more frequently. But that very own moment I realised that friends have their own family, they couldn't come at times when I needed them. Parents are old, they can help just on standby mode. Relatives are ready to meet but only on family occasions. In my darkest moments of isolation, in pain, when unwell not just physically but in that emotional volley, no one was available. It was only these morons who pushed me hard by saying that “Don’t worry we are by your side, you initiate the proceedings”.
It’s being six months now since we are mutually separated, still I am not out of that mess. My own strong statement, “I don’t want to be hand cliff in a relationship; I want to be free bird. Where no one stops me from doing anything. No policing, no emotional drama, roller coaster rides of emotional crunch. Good times spend with my extended family. But I was wrong; I lost everything in the battle including my own happiness. I lost that antique diamond while I was busy collecting stones. I always screamed for my personnel space, now all alone in that personnel space. I always looked on the darker side, while there is always a flip side.
I badly missed on how I use to have chauffer driven ride, always there by my side. The chit chats and cranky conversations. The tastiest homemade food, keeping things on place, house neat and clean. Doing everything with perfection. But now that beautiful house is dismantled, I myself initiated. I forced her to leave me. Now she has left, I am isolated. I wanted to be a free man, but my own happiness set me free. I no more feel happy, just don’t feel like.
People said, just move on. Redesign your own nest, where you can live with peace. Everyone is not born with perfect 10. If you love someone, you have to accept him with all his sins. How can I body shame her when I know things are bound to change with due course of time. I long for those 6 pm phone calls that say come home early, I am waiting for you. All pearls have lost their lustre; my life is barren land now. My life is full of regret and pain now.
I dreamed of a better life but there is always a flip side. Relationships break when one is trying every single bit to save it, and other is trying to break it at any cost. Relationships are not complicated, it is we people who make it worse.